almost there...
Oct. 14th, 2024 05:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
red_lasbelinWell, I meant to update much sooner than this, but life happened. I'm also learning that when I'm stressed a lot about things, I revert to 'hermit mode' and it's harder for me to communicate. :(
I trained the people who are covering me at work for my leave and tried to wrap up as much as I could for my supervisor. My mom had her surgery and it went well. It's not an easy recovery, but compared to her ankle surgeries, it is much better. The loss of Oshun was also quite tough. Sometimes I'm not very clear on the concept of an afterlife, but I do hope that she is somewhere where her eyes work again and she gets to read all the books she wants and have wonderful conversations with all her dear ones who have passed on before her. I like to think of her having coffee and cake with Kei and Rhaps.
My thanks to Dawn for the Gofundme. I knew her reach would be far better than mine as I am very quiet in the fandom space these days. I was always more of a lurker and losing Kei did not make it any better. I am cautiously optimistic that I might write again though. The past four years in particular have been so mentally crushing that I wasn't sure that I ever would again. I've also struggled with losing my friend who was always a part of my fandom experience from the very beginning.
But - I'm going back to South Africa in just over 48 hours. I had a nice little anxiety attack about it last week. But it's going to be fine, and I've had a lot of help from Anerea on trying to make this dream possible. I will be doing the Sanctuary road trip and I'll be able to see Anerea and Kei's family, and celebrate what would have been 20 years of knowing her. It feels almost surreal, I've spent two years trying to coordinate coming back to SA and now I'm almost there! Just absolutely surreal. I said I was going to do it, and I'm making it happen, not just wishing I did.
I'm coming to terms with how sentimental I am and always have been. I can move mountains, if it's personal, and I just need to lean into that a bit more.
Just going through all my check lists and my list of things to accomplish before leaving. I think I have just about everything wrapped up, and anything else must keep or work out along the way.
I did absentee vote, so I don't have to worry about that. It'll be weird to be in another country during election day, but it's probably better than obsessively checking news. I've done what I can personally do.
Just - glad this trip is happening. The last day I left South Africa, I said I thought it would take me two years to make it back. After a year, I had a hard time hearing planes fly above because I wanted to go back so badly, and now I'm almost there.
I trained the people who are covering me at work for my leave and tried to wrap up as much as I could for my supervisor. My mom had her surgery and it went well. It's not an easy recovery, but compared to her ankle surgeries, it is much better. The loss of Oshun was also quite tough. Sometimes I'm not very clear on the concept of an afterlife, but I do hope that she is somewhere where her eyes work again and she gets to read all the books she wants and have wonderful conversations with all her dear ones who have passed on before her. I like to think of her having coffee and cake with Kei and Rhaps.
My thanks to Dawn for the Gofundme. I knew her reach would be far better than mine as I am very quiet in the fandom space these days. I was always more of a lurker and losing Kei did not make it any better. I am cautiously optimistic that I might write again though. The past four years in particular have been so mentally crushing that I wasn't sure that I ever would again. I've also struggled with losing my friend who was always a part of my fandom experience from the very beginning.
But - I'm going back to South Africa in just over 48 hours. I had a nice little anxiety attack about it last week. But it's going to be fine, and I've had a lot of help from Anerea on trying to make this dream possible. I will be doing the Sanctuary road trip and I'll be able to see Anerea and Kei's family, and celebrate what would have been 20 years of knowing her. It feels almost surreal, I've spent two years trying to coordinate coming back to SA and now I'm almost there! Just absolutely surreal. I said I was going to do it, and I'm making it happen, not just wishing I did.
I'm coming to terms with how sentimental I am and always have been. I can move mountains, if it's personal, and I just need to lean into that a bit more.
Just going through all my check lists and my list of things to accomplish before leaving. I think I have just about everything wrapped up, and anything else must keep or work out along the way.
I did absentee vote, so I don't have to worry about that. It'll be weird to be in another country during election day, but it's probably better than obsessively checking news. I've done what I can personally do.
Just - glad this trip is happening. The last day I left South Africa, I said I thought it would take me two years to make it back. After a year, I had a hard time hearing planes fly above because I wanted to go back so badly, and now I'm almost there.
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