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red_lasbelinStill here. It's not been easy, this past month, but my goal is to spend more time engaging and being around. My world's been in an uproar for a variety of reasons, none the least Kei's passing. I want to talk to her every day.
My work life has been chaos, which has been distracting. I'm reasonably proud of myself for having a decently clean apartment and groceries in the fridge. I'm worried about the winter coming - I deal with seasonal depression pretty bad, but I'm determined to make it through because I know Kei would not want me to dissolve into a mess.
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes - I think I missed some for sure. I tried to go back through LJ/DW's friends feed and realized there was a cut off so I lost some posts. I can't remember if it always worked like that or if this is new. My deepest apologies if I missed something, it was definitely not intended.
I also have some important things to do, like update Kei's website so it's complete. I need to write again. I signed up for Zhie's Scribbles and Drabbles event back when she was in the hospital because I knew she would want me to - she always encouraged my writing even though I found many reasons to put it on the back-burner. She also gifted me several important ficlets for my birthday last year, and it was always her intention for me to beta them and her post them. Part of me wants to hold onto them privately forever, but I don't think that's what she'd want.
We were supposed to talk about what she wanted done with her fandom legacy - I told her we'd have to talk about that the last time I ever spoke to her and she agreed. But I didn't know I'd never speak to her again. I'm going to have to make some best guesses as to what she'd want. I'm going to keep her website up as long as I can afford the hosting. I'm going to run MSV again this year because she would haunt me if I didn't.
At some point, I am going to do a little post about my South Africa trip - not so much about the funeral, but some of the lovely memories I have. (Special shout out toanerea - there is no hyperbole when I say she is an amazing, generously warm human being who helped me immensely.) Eventually I might even make a post that isn't about Kei, but I'm still trying to process a world without her.
My work life has been chaos, which has been distracting. I'm reasonably proud of myself for having a decently clean apartment and groceries in the fridge. I'm worried about the winter coming - I deal with seasonal depression pretty bad, but I'm determined to make it through because I know Kei would not want me to dissolve into a mess.
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes - I think I missed some for sure. I tried to go back through LJ/DW's friends feed and realized there was a cut off so I lost some posts. I can't remember if it always worked like that or if this is new. My deepest apologies if I missed something, it was definitely not intended.
I also have some important things to do, like update Kei's website so it's complete. I need to write again. I signed up for Zhie's Scribbles and Drabbles event back when she was in the hospital because I knew she would want me to - she always encouraged my writing even though I found many reasons to put it on the back-burner. She also gifted me several important ficlets for my birthday last year, and it was always her intention for me to beta them and her post them. Part of me wants to hold onto them privately forever, but I don't think that's what she'd want.
We were supposed to talk about what she wanted done with her fandom legacy - I told her we'd have to talk about that the last time I ever spoke to her and she agreed. But I didn't know I'd never speak to her again. I'm going to have to make some best guesses as to what she'd want. I'm going to keep her website up as long as I can afford the hosting. I'm going to run MSV again this year because she would haunt me if I didn't.
At some point, I am going to do a little post about my South Africa trip - not so much about the funeral, but some of the lovely memories I have. (Special shout out to
anerea - there is no hyperbole when I say she is an amazing, generously warm human being who helped me immensely.) Eventually I might even make a post that isn't about Kei, but I'm still trying to process a world without her.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-23 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-09-28 12:26 am (UTC)I would love for you to sign up for MSV. Swaps are a different kind of challenge and you'll either love or hate it (or love AND hate it *G*)
The offer is very kind, Maggie dear. I can afford it for the good forseeable future but I will keep it in mind. Do you still have yours up?
no subject
Date: 2022-09-28 03:01 am (UTC)As in, my fanfic web page? AC was kindly hosting it for me, and it was up for many years, but when she took down her Ithilas website my web page went down too. I think it was in 2019. It's archived on the Wayback Machine and I did manage to get some fan art off that which I wanted to keep. Since I wasn't the one in charge of the hosting (as I'm beyond crap at technology), I didn't have much say. And, to be fair, I was completely gone from fandom for about 15 years and let my old email addresses lapse. So I would have been impossible to contact anyway. My loss.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-27 04:27 am (UTC)https://web.archive.org/web/20060510121208/http://www.ithilas.com/maggie/maggie.html